I got this message today. A few minutes ago, in fact.

Hah! In South Africa, a hashtag #MenAreTrash has been trending the past few days.

It follows the gruesome murder of a young woman at the hand of her boyfriend. She, herself was active in women’s empowerment initiatives. It is also Mother’s Day.

Not all men are trash, obviously. And not all relationships which have a disproportionate power balance are male/female based, but slowly slowly, step by step, ‘fuck off’ by ‘fuck off’, we can change minds and self-empower ourselves till more ‘women/mothers/daughters/girlfriends’ learn to enforce their boundaries and more ‘Trash Men’ learn how to say: “Pardon” and back the fuck off.



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This guar sounds very offended, y?

Shem. he he must feel so bad he can’t even spell rightlyly.

The implication from this exchange is that he was just being ‘nice’, so why am I so horrible. This type of male also frequently admonishes you when you ‘can’t accept a compliment’ when they give you unasked for advances/sexually suggestive comments, aka ‘compliment’.

Y do I use valguar language, poepoepolol?

Because it is not I who cannot accept a compliment – it is you who cannot accept rejection.

Fuck off.


img_4743Who sends a fucking minion (dancing) to do their work for them? Modern, grown-ass men, that’s who!

What happened to conversation? Talking? Exchanging word and ideas, not emoticons? What happened to making an effort? To sending flowers – even those fake internet ones guys send you in your inbox. (Look, I’ll still tell you to fuck off, but still.)

The entire modern idea of courting and relationships seem to have changed, partly due to the internet. Whereas more information and connectivity seems like it should logically lead to more intense and meaningful liasons, it seems to have the opposite effect. I spoke to Miss Violet, a renowned sex writer and on-line dating expert. She told me that it appeared to her as if men don’t really want to ‘date’ on on-line dating sites. “They are too lazy.” she surmised. Futher reading led me to a plethora of pieces suggesting the modern idea of romance and relationship is expedient, not designed to last long with parties not prepared to commit, overcome problems or have a desire to go beyond the ‘honeymoon phase.’

So the moment the endorphins quieten down. you dump the person, holding them up to unrealistically high expectations, while feeling entitled to have the ‘perfect’ romance because idiots like Oprah Winfrey and Tony Robbins have been telling people that they are beautifu l just the way they are, are entitled to be who they are and love themselves for whom they are and that they can demand that acceptance from other people and that they should not settle – because they are, well so bloody special.

Put in another way, men go onto the internet to wank. Every time you answer a ‘hi’ or acknowledge the fucking minion, they have a little emotional pieltrek. But they are too bloody lazy to do it themselves, so they want to see you do it vicariously.


The above exchange is thus the perfect modern relationship and probably only lasted slightly shorter.

“Hi.” (Walks into the room and woos woman)

“Sends Minion” (Entertaining courtship and liason, which has woman in stitches, but soon blows over when she realises something has gone awry.)

“Fokof” (Woman finally realises man is not good enough for her and is, in fact, a twat)

“Jy ook.” (Man convinces himself it is not his fault and walks off in a huff.)


So listen here, old Walglike Wallie, go and wank in your own time onto your own computer. Stay away from mine.











It’s a pity the Facebook Messenger reads the ‘Return’ button as a ‘Post’ button, because the second paragraph of my message read:
“In fact, sommer take two Fuck-Offs for you for sending this kak chain letter.”

So remember, folks, don’t ┬ábe shy or stingy with handing out your fuck offs to those who really need it.

To all my loyal readers, have a fuck off christmas and an especially fuck off new year!

You get a fuck off! YOU get a fuck off! Everyone gets a fuck off!



Version 2I told this guy to fuck off. He basically replied: “Ok.”

I like this guy’s attitude towards life. I have this image of him sitting there, hedging his bets. “She can say: ‘yes’. She can say: ‘no’.” And he is prepared to accept either outcome. No aggression. No entitlement. Just moving on.

He doesn’t play Roulette. In the game of LIFE, he plays Snakes ‘n Ladders. He does not commit to a particular outcome – he just plays the game. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Keep rolling them dice. Philosophically , an advanced way to live.

He knows that HATE has 4 letters. So does LOVE. FAILURE has 7 letters, so has SUCCESS. HURT has 4 letters, so does HEAL.

Respect, squire. Here’s 7 letters for you:


[Translation of Inbox conversation, originally in Afrikaans, local language in South Africa]

‘What are you doing? Nice day to you” (Misspelt. Juvenile grammar)

“Fuck off.”