A FAVOURITE FUCK OFF

Version 2I told this guy to fuck off. He basically replied: “Ok.”

I like this guy’s attitude towards life. I have this image of him sitting there, hedging his bets. “She can say: ‘yes’. She can say: ‘no’.” And he is prepared to accept either outcome. No aggression. No entitlement. Just moving on.

He doesn’t play Roulette. In the game of LIFE, he plays Snakes ‘n Ladders. He does not commit to a particular outcome – he just plays the game. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Keep rolling them dice. Philosophically , an advanced way to live.

He knows that HATE has 4 letters. So does LOVE. FAILURE has 7 letters, so has SUCCESS. HURT has 4 letters, so does HEAL.

Respect, squire. Here’s 7 letters for you:

FUCK OFF


[Translation of Inbox conversation, originally in Afrikaans, local language in South Africa]

‘What are you doing? Nice day to you” (Misspelt. Juvenile grammar)

“Fuck off.”

“Right/ok.”]

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DEAR SIR, YOU MUST HAVE THE WRONG INBOX. I AM NOT A TURD-ANGLER

Version 2Pielkop Poggenpoel over here sends me a message ‘Hi.’

I politely explain that he should refrain from inboxing me otherwise I shall have to resort to asking him to expedite himself in a sexual manner.

He chirps back. I tell him to ‘fokof’ (fuck off in Afrikaans)

Old Pielkop then replies: ‘Gaan vang ‘n kak.’

Loosely translated in English it could mean ‘Go chase a shit’ or ‘Go catch a turd’ or ‘Go angling for poos.” It is a derivation from the more popular; “Gaan kak” which would mean “Go shit” or ‘Go for a shit.” I assume there are whole herds or turds swimming around that Afrikaans people so often try and get others to herd them.

But it speaks volumes of Pielkop’s attitude towards women. He approaches people with the most inane opening line and when they politely ask to be left alone, he becomes abusive. Really, fuckface?

Dear Sir, you must have the wrong inbox. I am not turd-herder. Might I suggest you go and look in the mirror for the biggest piece of shit you will find?  You sir, are the Chief-Drol in the sewerage farm. Catch yourself – looking like a poepol (asshole).

Yours sincerely.

Fuck off.