Every now and again, I play polite. Mostly to no avail, but it proves an observation.
Look at the language of this guy. It is predatory, entitled, manipulative. Does not even try. He is the dirty uncle in the playground picking on the little girls, telling them to keep it secret.
Chat to me ‘on my box’? Who’s the big doos here?
[doos = Afrikaans word, literally translated as ‘box’, but also used as a slur to describe and asshole]
Nee kak, you know what I mean.
There is an old chauvinistic saying that goes:
“When a woman says ‘no’, she means ‘maybe’. When she says ‘maybe’, she means ‘yes.”
Well, let me be clear -when a woman says ‘fuck off’ she means ‘FUCK OFF.’
This fuckoff is particularly funny to me.
Firstly, because the word ‘fokof’ in Afrikaans, even though it means the exact equivalent to the English version of ‘fuck off’ is somehow funnier and more benign.
Secondly, the image of an Brandied and Braai-ed out oaf who is too lazy to start a decent conversation and instead sends a feeble fake bunch of flowers with a ‘good morning’, gets told to ‘fokof’ without ceremony, leaves me with an image of a deflating balloon when it makes that funny ‘Phe-w-e-eh’ pinched fart sound. Funny.
Thirdly, I am amused at my own response. It is a two syllable expression, yet every time I hover over the keyboard, I have a slight sense of dread. Fear of backlash from the great Patriarchal Penis in the Sky. And aware of how ‘groupist’ I am.
When I see the person sending it is from another country, it is very easy to say ‘fuck off.’ I guess that is a form of some kind of patriotism. When the person is possibly from my country and my area, it is harder for me to say ‘fuck off’. I guess, I am more nationalist than I thought. And when the person is Afrikaans, I initially hovered a bit more. I guess, a form of racism or groupism or classism that revealed itself to me, surprisingly, in the split second longer it took me to type ‘fokof.’
And then I just did it. And it was funny.